KENYANS' HILARIOUS “SIPENDI UJINGA” JOKES – LOL

There is this "Sipendi ujinga" joke that has gone viral online. Perhaps you have come across some of these now very popular hilarious jokes online, but if not, don't you worry.

Here are some of the trending jokes we sampled.

1. 

I met my Maths teacher last week. We greeted and he asked for directions to Equity Bank, I told him to make a 360 turn and walk for like 1.8 meters, then find the coefficient of X using Pythagoras theorem and round it up to the nearest tens. He'll will see a big pharmacy which is perpendicular to his right, then make an obtuse angle turn, he'll will see the bank at a distance of about the logarithm of 7 and using four figure table to the Anti- log. Let him feel what I felt when he was teaching me in school.... Sasa anatangazwa kwa radio alipotea.

#Mimi sipendi ujinga.

2. 

Kenya power thought they were smart I woke up to blackouts, showered with cold water but once I was done ten minutes later the power resumed-they thought I was foolish I went back to the bathroom! Saa hii nimemaliza kuoga tena. 

#Sipendi Ujinga ya Kenya power

3. 

During an English lesson, the teacher instructed us to write a composition:

Assume you are in a war, write a story on your experience? .....
.....I didn't write anything and kept seated. The teacher got puzzled, walked to my desk and asked me why i wasn't writing. .. I replied calmly. "Teacher, I was killed immediately..""#Sipendi ujinga

4. 

Naachanga stove nje napata haina mafuta. Leo niliweka Diesel.... Kidogo kidogo nikaskia bomb kwa jirani"

#Mimi sipendi ujinga

5.

Kuna jamaa amenipita akaniuliza mbona nimekunja sura. Nikamjibu nataka kuiweka kwa bag.

#Sipendi ujinga mimi

6.

Teacher​: How do you call mosquitoes in your language

​Me​: We don't call them they come on their own. Saa hii niko kwa principal’s office I think wanataka kunipa zawadi

#Sipendi ujinga Mimi

7.

Nimeenda pale KU, kwa gate sina ID. Nikasumbuana na gateman sana akiniambia sitaingia juu mi ni non student. Ikabidi nimetoa kunguni. Nimwonyeshe mi ni mwenyeji huko.

#Sipendi ujinga mimi

8.

Kuna dame ameniuliza what I do for a living nikamshow “I breathe in and out.”
#Sipendi ujinga mimi.

9.

Kuna dem ameangusha kibeti tao, nikamwambia "Excuse me madam" akasema "I have a boyfriend" sai niko kwa hoteli nakula kuku

#Sipendi ujinga Mimi

10.

Me: Bae i have just won 18 million Sportpesa jackpot, pack your bags.

Bae: Dubai or USA?

Me: I don't care just pack your bags and go away. #sipendi ujinga mimi 

11.

My ex posted a picture of her and her new nigga on InstaGram so I made a fake account of some girl & commented "wow Kevin you're cheating now?! 

#sipendi ujinga mimi..

12.

Iko kajino ka lower jaw kameniuma Leo hadi ikabidi nmengoa meno zote za lower jaw That's a lesson to the upper jaw 

 #sipendi ujinga mimi

13.

Mi siwezi kuja kwako nimevaa viatu za 10K alafu uniambie nizitoe niziwache nje juu ya carpet ya 1599/= we toa hiyo carpet uweke nje bana!

#Huwa sipendi ujinga mimi!!!

14.

Nilioga na Dettol 24hrs protection alafu nikajipaka Nivea 48hrs protection.. Nmekaa siku tatu sijaoga zinaisha kesho... ..Nachora nioge na Ariel mwosho moja tu na sitaoga tena.

#spendagi ujinga ya kuoga mimi

15.

Nimetoka kukata tikiti hapo North Rift shuttle wakaniambia kuna seat moja imebaki,Mi kuangalia vizuri nikaona hakuna nafasi but kuangalia mbele nkachecky seat ya dere haina mtu!!..aSai tuko almost Naivasha dere alibaki. 

#Mimi sipendi ujinga

16.

Nimetoka inbox kuchat na mtu flani then allover sudden  ananiuliza," na kwenu kunanyesha?"
Nikamjibu "kwani nimekutumia text iko na matope?"

#Sipendi Ujinga 

Even Gospel artist Jimmy Gait was not spared of these "ujinga" either. Some creative Kenyan created this fake poster of Jimmy Gait "new song" YESU HAPENDI UJINGA.